Mike Kolb thinks that Windows 98 will be gross and smoggy and have no console.
%%
A moment of silence, please, for trilogy.rumor.
%%
[ This rumor intentionally left blank. ]
%%
crimez
%%
tada
%%
#20:CA) hunihil says, "being a DJ is a quick way to get recognition, drugs, and attention"
%%
Giving away posessions is a possible warning sign for suicidal behavior.
Either that, or you're about to move.
This is the downside of accumulating too much non-wearable swag.
%%
> Has everyone read the Houston Memorandum?
<Dygel> Yes.
<Dygel> That is by far the funniest argument against gun control I've ever
+heard.
> Uh. I was arguing for gun control.
> ._.
<Dygel> Yeah, well, I take these things and bend them to my will.
> Perhaps this is why I was never on the Debate Team.
%%
<mrw> ah.  so it's Get_Coworkers(female,meekay->You_Are_Here()), rather than some more sophisticated algorithm.
%%
I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. [Stephen Roberts]
%%
#68:CA) happilysurprzdstinabat says, "and now the new bond girl! chastity 
 firewall!!!"
%%
<meekay> warning. 90% of software engineering is debugging.
<SmooveB> the other 90% is also debugging.
%%
According to the NRA, the best form of personal protection is to be in possession of a loaded firearm at all times. To ensure your personal safety, stay the hell away from NRA members. 
%%
"Are you hooked up with the local printer?"
"No, I barely even know her."
%%
semi-automated: needs some help to crash
%%
So I take shelter until tomorrow
Tomorrow will bring a brand new day
Think I can make it right tomorrow
Think I need more sleep today
Let's break the peace again tomorrow
I need a pill to stay awake
I guess I'll always hate tomorrow
Until it's far away
%%
<mrw> are you going to wank today?
<mrw> GAH!
<mrw> work!
<mrw> check it out.
<mrw> that's a legit dvorak typo.
%%
#38:C0) Loligo says, "HELO 124.56.25.208.met.waller.net"
#27:C0) overworked but undersexed says, "EHLO"
#38:C0) Loligo says, "VRFY shodges@softhome.net"
#27:C0) overworked but undersexed says, "PING ONE ONLY"
%%
You too can be replaced by a perl script.
%%
Where the hell are you supposed to find grasshoppers and honey in the fucking desert, anyway?
%%
#50:C0) jher says, "If I were an evil overlord, i'd incinerate my garbage."
%%
<mrw> HEXE 4:00PM 251 +50 4/9 +48.47% 464,544
%%
Hail Eris!
All hail Discordia!
%%
* mrw plays Dygel "The World is Not Enough"
<Dygel> Eh. That was an alright song.
* mrw hits Dygel with a chair
%%
Equally Attractive Non-Alcoholic Beverages
%%
And here's the point in the concert when the lead singer goes in back and gets an eight minute blowjob; meanwhile, out front, the drummer goes nuts.
%%
No one knows jack shit.
%%
Please do not feed the neuroses. Thank you.
%%
WHEN I WOKE UP THIS MORNIN'
I HEARD A DISTURBIN' SOUND
%%
If consultants knew how to run companies, they would.
%%
<whoops> it's like, if the tooth fairy santa clause and an honest lawyer were in a room, and someone dropped a $10 bill and the lights went off..
%%
It could be that your purpose in this world is to serve as an example for the others.
%%
"Your penis is too small!"
"Did you ever think that maybe your vagina is too huge?"
%%
<mykey> i'm surprised you can make shit up like that at the drop of a hat.
%%
%% is a rumor.
%%
single women always work
mothers never do
single mothers work like hell
and still put up with poo
%%
I'll tell you something
I am a wolf but
I like to wear sheeps' clothing
%%
Another world
Another time
 In the Age of Wonder
A thousand years ago
 This land was green and good
 Until the Crystal cracked
%%
<WeaselBoy> ludes were like capsules
<WeaselBoy> we used to sell ludes to our soccer team
<WeaselBoy> we had the SHITTIEST soccer team in Georgia
<WeaselBoy> They lost every game they ever played
<WeaselBoy> I like to take responsibility for undermining the jocks at our school
%%
Overheard on LoveLines:
"Don't worry. You're fine. You're normal. It's perfectly healthy. Lots of people d-- HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE AT EIGHTEEN THAT YOU'RE DUMPING A KILO OF COCAINE INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HOOCHIE?"
%%
This here's a picture o' mah great gran'father. He was the first cat-herder in mah fam'ly.
%%
EXTREME COMPUTING
%%
To be sure, a dwindling band of scientists still believe in cold fusion today, just as there are scientists who believe in psychokinesis, alien abductions and the Chicago Cubs.
%%
Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by incompetence.
%%
Name: Joe Liemandt
Title: CEO & President
I've Been Here For: 10 years, 11 months, 2 days.
What I Do All Day: <blank>
%%
<seano> dude, Metallica should just show up and kick Jon Katz's ass
%%
<bile> wendy's whiter than iceberg lettuce and mayo on wonder bread.
%%
The booty you are calling has been disconnected or is no longer in service.
%%
While I am not gay, I can refer you to some eligible single gay men.
%%
I needed to test a password setting script for UNIX and Samba passwords.
Good news: it works
Bad news: I ran it on HAWAII
Sorry.
%%
That command line isn't NEARLY long or complicated enough to do anything useful.
%%
Dave owes Tori money.
%%
When one cannot invent, one must improve.
%%
Q. What's the difference between a Roman Catholic and an atheist?
A. Atheists don't go to meetings.
%%
HUSBANDS! LET THIS endowed, handsome, sensual man please your wife. Wives! Join me for multiple satisfying tantric love fun. Sugar Daddy! Generous man seeks couple or woman to pamper.
%%
* meekay is just always wrong
<Mozilla> if that was true, the statement itself is contradictory.
<meekay> My Infinite Wrongness defeats even the Godelian paradox.
%%
Embracing the Goddess energy within yourselves will bring all of you to a
new understanding and valuing of life, a vision that inspires you to live
and love on planet Earth. Like a priceless jewel, buried in dark layers of
soil and stone, Earth radiates her brilliant beauty into the caverns of
space and time.
Perhaps you are aware of those who watch over your home and experience it
as a place to visit and play with reality. You are becoming aware of
yourself as a game master.
%%
echo "We who are about to die salute you." | mail jal@trilogy.com
%%
Those giraffes you sold me -- they don't mate. They just run around eating.
You sold me queer giraffes.
I want my money back.
%%
For millions of years
 men had lived
 just like the animals.
Then something happened
 which unleashed the power of our imagination.
We learned to talk.
%%
I want to go to a grad school where writing a Windows macro virus is thesis material.
%%
This operating system you sold me.
It doesn't network.
It just spins around eating CPU cycles.
You sold me a queer operating system.
I want my money back.
%%
DAMN 12 YR OLDZ THINK THEYRE KRADDER THAN MR AOLMAN
%%
This is lame enough to be real.
%%
J00VE GOT BITCHPUNX!!!
%%
I WILL COPY IT TO THE NUGGETBOARD
%%
ftp> exit
?Invalid command
%%
"What's in the box?"
"An infinite number of terms."
%%
"What's in the box?"
"An infinite number of xterms."
%%
God give you grace to purge this place and peace all around may be your fortune.
%%
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
 no escape from reality.
%%
And crawling on the planet's face
An insect, called the Human Race
 Lost in time
 Lost in space
And meaning.
%%
These aren't the goths you're looking for.
%%
RIDE THE SNAKE
%%
RIDE THE BJARNE
%%
EXTREME FRISBEE
%%
Why is it always us who are here on weekends?
%%
Our build process is a lot like driving a remote controlled car on the surface of Mars. You issue some commands, wait five hours, and then find out you hit a rock.
%%
This isn't supposed to be Mission: Difficult.
%%
NO DOCUMENTATION
%%
8 or 1 bit per pixel displays are not supported. If you have a computer that is new enough to run Fungimol but is nevertheless stuck at 8 bits per pixel, send me email and I'll give a higher priority to supporting an 8 bit pseudocolor display. I am not enthusiastic about supporting a monochrome display. 
%%
Per your request, we are posting your e-mail on this subject on Slashdot.org to help you relay your position to our users. 
%%
sleight of hand and twist of fate
on a bed of nails she makes me wait
and i wait
 without you
%%
Prepare to be smooved.
%%
You think you're so smart. But I've seen you naked.
%%
<Cyndaquil> I don't use adduser scripts/apps.
<Cyndaquil> vi *never* adds homedirs.  
<Cyndaquil> It's consistent between OSes.
%%
WITH THESE THINGS IN MIND, I IMPLORE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO BEHAVE LIKE WELL ADJUSTED ADULTS.
%%
I love this company. We've verbed the word "product".
%%
We've got two guys without machines. But they're the most productive, because they're not sitting here checking their email.
%%
For a good time, telnet gandalf.meekay.net 17.
%%
<dannyman> I have a DEGREE in RHETORIC, don't question my MATH.
%%
I am a randomly selected non-repeating value. Just like everyone else.
%%
Running a test script that includes IsNull(NULL) crashes SilkTest and displays an invalid page fault. The cause of the problem is that NULL is not an appropriate argument for IsNull.
%%
DIRTY DEEDS DONE DIRT CHEAP
%%
Reserved. Must be NULL.
%%
I love this company. We've productized verbing.
%%
You too can be replaced by rumor.
%%
You're so vain
I bet you think this rumor's about you
%%
My name is Gladiator.
Take off your bra.
%%
I am William Wallace. I can shoot lightning bolts out my arse.
Take off your bra.
%%
<albus> nethack?  i bet kevin mitnick wrote that!
%%
Mission: EXTREME
%%
<Elegia> Supercalifragilisticsadomasochism!
%%
Have I no control?
Is my soul not mine?
Am I not just man
 just redefined?
%%
<seano> women are the past. weasels are the future.
%%
<mrw> I own TWINE now.
<TanAdept> I haven't seen it yet.
<mrw> well get your dumb ass down here.
%%
<kurohime> Oh yeah. I am the mistress of time.
%%
This IS window 1 (asshole).
%%
We need to fold the monkey.
%%
<mrw> I'm making a throbbing penis favicon.ico.
%%
If I told you where I was going, I wouldn't be on holiday.
%%
Most elaborate and far-fetched explanation wins!
%%
My name is Tom Cruise.
Take off your bra.
Stop laughing!
%%
That fell about thirty years short of making any sense whatsoever.
%%
ONE MILLION YEN FISH
%%
<zkerrella> i, personally, only like assholes.
%%
this is my rifle
there are many like it but
this rifle is mine
%%
A poor surgeon hurts one person at a time. A poor teacher hurts 130. [Ernest Boyer]
%%
<mrw> what is with you being around all the sex in the world and getting about as much as my neutered cats?
%%
<mrw> I'd rather stick live wolverines in my pants and smuggle drugs past the mexican border than take a cat on a plane.
%%
Children, friends, and SOs are welcome. Proof of significance not required.
%%
Why buy one, when you can get two for twice the price?
%%
schadenfreude: Someone is hurt. It is not you. Rejoice!
%%
I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY!
%%
<meekay> Okay. So you've got some Linux boxes.
<meekay> How many Linux boxes do you need?
<mrw> ALL OF THEM
%%
* ZarfMouse is away - dinner - all messages will be logged.
<ZarfMouse>  - not a leibniz rumor
%%
Sheep go to Heaven.
Goats go to Hell.
%%
<mrw> I've patented 0-click ordering.  you have to click something, or I'll ship something to you.
%%
Failure is not an option.
%%
God dammit, I don't want another estimate. I want the procedures.
%%
It shouldn't take too long. Unless something bad happens.
%%
I only come here seeking peace
I'll only come here seeking me
It seems I came to leave
%%
#16:C0) featherless biped says, "damn, it's hotter than a whore in church"
%%
It is a productive day to die.
%%
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
%%
<seano> EVERY NIGHT IS LADIES NIGHT
<TanAdept> EVERY DAY IS A WINDING ROAD
%%
My kingdom for a Linux box.
%%
<mrw> the Mafia's been public for years.
<mrw> NYSE has been saving M for them.
%%
The email gods have decreed that no work shall be done today.
%%
<albus> i wonder what kind of support java has for cuntpaste.
<trotsky> cuntpaste? when you absolutely positevely crave the taste, yet have no time or nobody to go down on
<trotsky> damn it....i've given myself a craving
%%
Please do what Rohit says.
%%
From: "Joe Liemandt" <jal@trilogy.com>
Subject: Napster
All you using napster: you are killing our network.  Our link to the 
internet is maxed because of the napster servers running at Trilogy. Can 
you make sure that you are not running a napster server on your machine.
%%
The metadata has been successfully updated.
%%
Flextime means choosing which 80 hours I work.
%%
<mrw> I got a call today from my favorite San Fran recruiter.  She has a neat job in mind for me in San Mateo.
<mrw> kinda hardwarish.
<mrw> "Have you heard of a company called Transmeta?"
<mrw> "Do you see the word 'linux' on my resume?"
%%
Code Description: Classpathenator
Submitted By: Ryan Shillington/Trilogy
Targeted Users: Anybody who works with Java
Detailed Documentation: HA hAhA hAhAHHA
%%
"We encountered some bugs with [the internal quality website]."
"I think we need to run some Silk scripts against that site." *laughter*
"Yeah, well. It was kinda hacked together last night."
"So was Catalog Manager."
%%
java com.trilogy.sc.tools.MetadataPrinter @stock.bbw | grep -i foo
%%
COOTYS RAT SEMEN
%%
More dire need of a blowjob than any man alive.
%%
<ZarfMouse> DUDE HAVE SEX. work later.
%%
<mrw> ah, the shortcoming is actually mrw not knowing how to configure it, and giving up after two hours?
<meekay> Two hours? that's an hour and a half longer than me.
<mrw> meekay:  some men are longer than others
%%
#1:C0) cb N(c) says, "pizza GOOD, metallica DORK."
%%
Let's say the Pharoah has asked you to build the pyramids. After the first month, he wants a status report. Which will he be happier with?
a) A miniature model of the pyramids, showing the general layout and such.
b) A single eight foot high stone. But it's in the right place.
%%
Note also that "elif" is "file" spelled backward. Only Algol-ers would want a keyword that was the same as another word spelled backward.
%%
I'm not cute. I'm mean. GRRRRRR.
%%
Doing set to 'JIZPEACHBANANAHOLEJ00ZEZ'
%%
<albus> i dunno, she wears some sort of ring, and she has a picture of some male on her desk.
%%
<kurohime> I believe that physics *and* time are both working correctly right now, thanks in no small part to me
%%
Utilities that don't support -h are stupid.
%%
<kurohime> #groogroo is all about getting Mike laid
%%
Your StdBeans.jsp isn't very std.
%%
<TanAdept> This is UNIX, after all.
%%
Java isn't platform-independent. Java *is* a platform.
%%
<TanAdept> Alex the cat is ludicrously, unfathomably large.
%%
[mkolb@gandalf mkolb]$ echo "`rumor` in bed"
<TanAdept> Alex the cat is ludicrously, unfathomably large. in bed
%%
Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by incompetence in bed.
%%
It could be that your purpose in this world is to serve as an example for the others in bed.
%%
The ClearView gods have decreed that no work shall be done today.
%%
The rumor gods have decreed that no work shall be done today.
%%
These aren't the goths you're looking for in bed.
%%
echo `rumor` | perl -e "\$foo = join('', <> );"  -e '$foo =~ s/[.!\n]+$//;' -e 'print "$foo in bed\n"'
%%
Mathieu: zat is probably ze problem ... I will install it :-)
meekay: You're typing with a French accent. 
Mathieu: after 2am, my mother tongue resurfaces ... after a bier or two, ze same effect happenz.
%%
* eris5 had a fun but semi-odd weekend
<Saxgod> Uh, it's Wednesday.
%%
So why do I love when I still feel pain?
When does it end, when is my work done?
Why do I fight? And why do I feel
that I carry a sword through a battlefield?
%%
meekay:  Oh, fuck. Did Hawaii just blow up?
Mathieu: labmanager did :-(
meekay:  @*&_!(*#&!@*&$#*@(_!@@)(*#&!#*(*$@!_(@*#&$(*!_(*@)#&!@
Mathieu: you're getting the hang of perl! pretty neat.
%%
#34:C0) Wastrel says, "My stars, it's full of dogs!!  -- 2001 Dalmations"
%%
ps | grep -i iexplore | awk '{print $1}' | xargs kill -9
%%
Deprecated. This method is inherently unsafe.
%%
Corporations are people too.
%%
<^tomoyo^> you are a weird grownup    o.o;
<meekay> who you calling grownup?
<meekay> should i point out that your sis is a year older than me? ;)
<^tomoyo^> should i poitn out that neechan likes videogames more than activebusiness enterprise beans?   ^^;
%%
`rumor -f iexplore | rumor -s`
%%
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
%%
<mrw> Arun, this game sucks.
<Arun> mrw: why?
<mrw> because all of my progress got eliminated by the huns.
<Arun> shit happens
%%
<mrw> I should have the wheel by 2000AD
%%
My name is Lord McStiffen. Frank is dead.
%%
[done in 1.161 seconds]
%%
WARNING! DO NOT REMOVE OR MODIFY THE FOLLOWING COMMENTED LINES!
%%
<mrw> scuffed laser-based media ALMOST ALWAYS skips like Tori on heroin.
%%
With all due respect, Sir, it's a big fuckin' sky.
%%
If yer gonna rumor... rumor into this.
%%
And I can't believe Liberace was gay. Women LOVED him!
%%
<Ch1XenZz>   # THIS IS LITERATE PROGRAMMING
<Ch1XenZz>   # THE SPICE GIRLS ARE SKA
<dbt> that's 8 syllables.
<Ch1XenZz> it's a comment, not a haiku!
<dbt> so?
%%
We should buy them and shut them down.
%%
<mrw> I should take acid.
<mrw> and then code.
<mrw> $purlpe_hippo->crawling_with(spiders)!
%%
"Has anything run successfully on any platform?"
"Some things run almost successfully on most platforms."
%%
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
%%
<SmooveB> you say potatoe, I say shut up dipshit.
<SmooveB> let's call the whole thing off.
%%
"You call that Objectivist code? Your call to gets() has "h@ck m3 d00d" written all over it."
"Any Objectivist using my program would operate it in a rational manner, and therefore would not exceed its buffer limitations."
%%
God doesn't take the advice of syphillitic insane Germans who never got laid and were too cowardly to join the army.
%%
From a therapeutic point of view it would be much more desirable if you masturbated with your penis instead of your head.
%%
cd ~/iplanet/4.1/https/logs
less errors
%%
Konnichiwa! Como estas?
%%
Don't stand
Don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me.
%%
I am with the Cube on this one.
%%
To explode would be a great adventure.
%%
One Ring to rule them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all
 And in the Darkness bind them
%%
Tip: If you go to "Internet Favorites" you will die.
%%
Mathieu: you wouldn't happen to know where the sb engine tests are and how you run them, would you ?
meekay: On Bernie and Larry's machines, and via perl scripts Paul Vaughan wrote eight years ago.
Mathieu: dude. did computers really exist 8 years ago ?
%%
Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?
A. Herpes lasts forever.
%%
#19:C0) land mine says, "OK, I can't find the melting point of legos online. The internet is useless."
%%
<neela> " la, ti, da"
<TanAdept> No, that's "la di da"
<TanAdept> As in "Do, raye, me"
%%
<doyle> Scott Bannister is The Man?
<lemson> he could be
<lemson> i mean, he did sell out!
<doyle> THe Man does not Sell.  He Buys.
%%
I'll agree that it's probably working as designed. I submit that the design sucks.
%%
"That's not my department."
"Well, what is?"
"Guns and women, of course."
%%
I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war.
Take off your bra.
%%
meekay: "Ding, dong, the network's dead."
Randy Dong: "It's not MY fault."
%%
"What's in the box?"
"An unlimited amount of data, in XML format."
%%
<mrw> what's their plan for revenue?
<Dygel> Muggings.
%%
Don't get too close.
%%
I personally don't think you would be capable of picking up a clue if you were in a field full of horny clues smearing yourself with clue musk and doing the clue mating dance.
%%
But no one has ordered me to escape.
%%
<SmooveB> who needs sex?  play nethack.
%%
I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.
%%
Based on NCSA Mosaic. NCSA Mosaic(TM); was developed at the National Center for Supercomputing Applications at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
%%
<nalarak> what's yer uin?
<TanAdept> What, you expect me to memorize a random series of digits?
%%
<mrw> Amanda's advice is nonbinding and frequently wrong.
%%
Q. What does Marat have a PhD in?
A. That's easy. He's a doctor of love.
%%
<TanAdept> NT evolves into 2000.
%%
Anything done at 2am is drastic.
%%
"[POP today] is gonna have a New York theme."
"Oh, it's by Fin[ancial] Services?"
"Yeah. There's gonna be muggers and shit."
%%
                           Todd called me a cryptofascist today.
                                               In honor of this,
                        I'm formatting this particular paragraph
                                                    flush right.
%%
"I'm a sociopath."
"No, you're a dyke."
%%
If you'd used Java, you would be home by now.
%%
Effective against several forms of sexually transmitted disease such as HIV and pregnancy.
%%
<netscan> meekay: You use qwerty; hush.
%%
#4:C0) meekay says, "the holy roman empire was neither holy, nor roman, nor an empire. discuss."
#68:C0) just xeno notes that they're dead and thinks no further on the romans
#4:C0) meekay says, "it was in germany."
#68:C0) just xeno says, "doh!"
%%
"Well, I'm looking at the code, and it should."
"Well, I'm looking at the logs, and it's not."
%%
Ev'ry byte... is sacred...
Ev'ry byte... is good...
%%
I'm doin' all right
Gettin' good grades
My future's so bright
I gotta wear shades
%%
"What's in the box?"
"129,599.20 Deutsche Marks."
%%
Fast Cycle Time: It crashes in two minutes or less.
%%
Quality Engineering my ass.
%%
Constraints are evaluated. Rules are fired.
%%
Constraints are evaluated. People are fired.
%%
To compile would be a great adventure.
%%
I can't get no constraint satisfaction.
%%
No fair. That one made sense.
%%
I don't think we're in the same address space anymore, Toto.
%%
This doesn't look anything like the picture.
%%
<seano> "hola hombres. Been a while since I rapped at you, but this fuckin bitchass PPTP tunnel is sucking ass, so I got my buddy Steve to come over with 5 beers and a fat-ass J"
%%
<mrw> that wasn't nearly as funny as it was in my head.
%%
meaningless comma
%%
<whoops> you named your cat jem?
<whoops> are you GAY?
%%
p.s. don't flame me because i'm sensitive and might cry
%%
I want my father back, you son of a bitch.
%%
<Saxgod> Of course Linux is ready for the desktop.  It only takes 4 hours get translucent terminal windows.  More if you need to access the web, though.
<albus> how long does it take to get transparent windows on beos?
<Saxgod> 8 years and counting.
%%
While running MCC ConfigViews, Lucent is reporting that they see a bunch of smiley faces appearing on the SB MultiService console log. Is this an engine feature?
%%
<netscan> You're a strange one, Mr. Matt...
<mrw> and dead sexy, too.
<Mozilla> that was implied.
%%
Mike Kolb
   SB Wizard (HTML)
   SB Wizard Studio
   FFC SC Quote
   SC Catalog + Maint
   Connector/S
   and a bunch of other jobs you don't want.
%%
<mrw> Fuck me really, really, really, unconditionally, hard.
%%
"After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'" [William S. Burroughs]
%%
<Ch1XenZz> what would $groo{groo()}->() do?
%%
Somebody answer the phone.
%%
Tidal waves couldn't save the world from Californication.
%%
Does MCC ConfigViews have Buddha nature?
%%
I'm interested in all kinds of astronomy.
Do you have the item?
%%
<Dumbert> Oh, I'm not looking for a solution... I'm just whining.
%%
<blandoid> my liver gave me two weeks notice this morning
%%
My name is Gato!
I have metal joints!
Beat me up,
and earn 15 Silver Points!
%%
I am Nikki, lead singer of the Magical Dreamers.
Take off your bra.
%%
Your fucking stupid dumbass installer does some pretty fucked up evil shit to Windows 2000. Here's a nickel, kid, try digging yourself out of the Stone Age and get yourself a 32-bit operating system with a real multitasking kernel.
%%
Ye dropped yer rock.
%%
Our ship is broken.
Can you make it go?
%%
<recursive> argh, where is the squirrel guard so I can open the balcony door without chance of squirrels clawing through
<DOCADO> It's called a "cat", Mike.
%%
How do I tell them that due to the unfreezing process I have no internal monologue?
%%
<ZarfMouse> I should start using $this in perl just to piss people off
%%
Will you rest in the Enertron?
Your HP is restored!
... but you still feel hungry.
%%
There's always a bigger fish.
%%
There's always a bigger schlong.
%%
#17:C0) valocity says, "whats the greatest concentration of happy ppl we can take out?"
#23:C0) Holly says, "i'm happy."
#23:C0) Holly says, "y'all can suck my dick."
%%
Minimalism gone mad!
%%
I've been downhearted, baby, ever since the day we met.
%%
Recruiter: "Everybody in our department is either broken up, or getting married."
Developer: "We noticed."
%%
"Do we own any of these deliverables?"
"Yes. We need to be Knowledgable Experts."
"Sweet."
%%
"Where are these machines coming from? Do they own these machines?"
"They don't really know."
%%
We can't fire them. They're quitting and starting their own company.
%%
WebGUI is dead. Long live WebGUI.
%%
My God, it's full of warez!
%%
Man stand with mouth open for long time before cooked chicken fly in.
%%
Wendy on polyamorism:
"I'm a small-town girl. Where I come from, we call those 'sluts'."
%%
'* Class Description:
'*     This class is used to maintain a Word application object in memory
'*     at all time. This improves performance.
%%
I want a pony.
%%
<SmooveB> let me think about that and get back to you with my negative reply.
%%
"Doesn't customer-specific pricing imply that they know who their customers are, and it's more than one?"
%%
"Actually, there's one girl on the team who went to SalesBUILDER training when she was at IBM."
"She went through SalesBUILDER training?"
"She was at IBM?"
"There's a girl on the team?"
%%
"I'm acknowledging more and more that a script and a movie are two different things." [George Lucas]
%%
Your job has been submitted for processing.
%%
<disjoint> /dev/random is too slow, really
<disjoint> It's all about /dev/kmem
%%
We are redefining the high end.
%%
We have received your order for 1 ticket to:
VNV NATION EMPIRES 2000 at SMALL VENUE DALLAS
%%
<blandoid> just fart a few times in his presence
<blandoid> that will stop the smalltalk cold
%%
"I predict that in forty years the Newtonian physics model will be irrelevant."
%%
We're not quite in Bumfuck, but we're definitely in Egypt.
%%
At least we weren't attacked by killer bees.
%%
<SmooveB> I will now make attempt #2 to ... encap amanda.
%%
<mrw> if tori decides "hey, maybe Austin's for me," I'll just go into Don's office and yell until he hires her.
%%
<mrw> because of tori, I have this perception that the entire populace of Japan is 9 year old girls in sailor-moon outfits.
%%
The black wind howls.
One of you will soon perish.
%%
Trilogy PEOPLE GROUP has officially changed its name to HUMAN RESOURCES (HR).
%%
It's a geek joke. LAUGH, or be mocked!
%%
<Questions> osm asks: have you considered self-labelling of comments? i would gladly label mine as "troll".
<CmdrTaco> next
%%
public java.lang.String toString()
   What do u think this does?
%%
Once a cat has been recognized, PawSense blocks the cat's keyboard input. This keeps the cat from entering lots of commands to your programs or operating system.
%%
I want a pony. Heuristic goal-directed search is hard. Let's go shopping.
%%
* mrw suddenly realizes that 3 kings was set in 1991, when "Good Vibrations" was a big hit.
<mrw> why didn't they use THAT on the soundtrack
<Arun> probably because it SUCKED?
%%
Ouch, the call failed:
%%
I am an Administrator.
I can do WHATEVER I WANT.
%%
Gardner's apparoach is also radical in that he does not defend his theory with quantitative data.
%%
However, at 100 to 700 meters below the surface of Mars, the pressure of the planet's crust would be great enough to unfreeze carbon dioxide.
%%
Let me see you stripped down to the bone.
%%
An urgent message from Hyperion:
 The main unit can't make it for dinner.
%%
Develop, build, test, and debug CML models. Anywhere, on any platform that supports Java. Except lame Microsoft exokernels that think "scheduling" belongs in a mailer.
%%
Did you know that humans only use 20% of their brains? Imagine what life would be like if we used the other 60%...
%%
Did you have some kind of masturbation incident this morning?
%%
* Ch1XenZz counts useless keys on keyboard
* Ch1XenZz maps windows key to addrumor
%%
Welcome to EPROTST1. You can control this computer.
%%
... can't sleep... clown'll eat me...
%%
The documentation is more current than the code!
%%
My name is Alucard. I am a 400 year old vampire.
Take off your bra.
%%
"And it wouldn't do any good to hit camps in Afghanistan if the bombs are somewhere in the Persian Gulf. That kind of preemptive strke wouldn't preempt anything."
%%
Inform Houston that I'm well aware of the goddamned gimballs. I've got the frappin' eight-ball right in front of me.
%%
#56:C0) nemo says, "You're ridiculous.  You and your fancy Eastern talk, I'm not scared of you OR your delusion beam <tm.>"
%%
There's something funny about this wall.
%%
<Mythrandr> I just got invited to a invite only DARPA conference for open source security on open source os's
<blandoid> hm, the good old DARPACFOSSOOSSOS
%%
#13:CA) Valkyrini says, "I wished my mother had imposed acting on me instead of pharmcay"
#58:CA) Squid factor 375 says, "your mom was wierd, valerie.  Most parents tell their kids to stay the hell away from drugs."
%%
They made their cake, they can lie in it.
%%
"You always have a smooth story ready, don't you?"
"What, do you want me to learn to stutter?"
%%
Wait till I'm finished. Then you can talk.
%%
Girl, if there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me break it down for you: It is time for you to get Smooved.
%%
Your feedback is very important. Please help me to help you.
%%
<Ashton> Pat [Buchanan] is so far right wing he flies in circles
%%
<DOCADO> Too bad that Gore had to ruin the election for Nader.
%%
"Cor! Yer gonna ha' te wash yer flaps afore I ge anywh' near tha' turkey seepage."
%%
<skehem> i have some gap shirts.
<skehem> i have some gap boxers too!
<skehem> *oppress*
<leokitty> wendie is an evil capitalist
%%
Oh my God. Everyone in here is so British mod.
%%
<meekay> I went to a club last night with a chick who tried to convince me that the best way to clear up sinus congestion is to snort a line of coke.
<zkerrella> I guess that might be true.
<zkerrella> sudafed works too, tho'.
%%
<qosboy> my god... think of the market size if you could sell OS's to cockroaches    [Ari Pernick, Windows 2000 development team]
%%
Are you kidding? That woman's about as domestic as Beelzebub.
%%
#22:C0) viva las vegas says, "i love scott... i mean, really, he's a dear. but he looks like a dyke."
%%
<Omedalus> Hey Meekay, I'm having trouble corrupting your little bro
<Omedalus> He's already about as evil as I'd ever want to make him
%%
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. [H.L.Mencken]
%%
#37:CA) scott says, "do you have a quarterly bonus that determines profit sharing?"
#25:CA) mr.austin says, "i have cold pizza in the fridge i can share"
%%
"God I hate that bitch."
"Probably shouldn't have married her, then."
%%
"Hippie, you think everything's a conspiracy."
"Everything is."
%%
"So, raise your hand if you think that was a Russian water tentacle."
%%
"Ya see this? They used ta call this the Hammer."
%%
"It's not easy being a castiron bitch. It takes discipline and years of training. A lot of people don't appreciate that."
%%
"How many kinds of an idiot do you think I am?"
%%
If you understand this example, you already know a fair deal of Eiffel! Note how simple the syntax is. Semicolons between instructions are optional (they have been omitted above); no strange symbols, no complicated rules.
%%
You have displaced the mirth, broke the good meeting
 with most admired disorder.
%%
And must they all be hanged that swear and lie?
 Every one.
Who must hang them?
 Why, the honest men.
Then the liars and swearers are fools, for there are liars and swearers enow to beat the honest men and hang up them.
%%
You people are BORING.
%%
<meekay> You people are BORING.
<disjhime> Easy for you to say, mister only-one-person-in-my-head ;p
%%
Zeppelin, Led
%%
<whoops> does 'europe' include third world countries?
%%
<mrw> as a Godless Communist, it's hard for me to use "Godless Communist" as a put-down.
%%
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a truckload of DVDs.
%%
Do you use warez?  ( ) Yes.  ( ) No.  ( ) I used to.
%%
We're going to be damned... let's be damned for what we really are.
%%
<Arun> disj: some of us didn't sleep!
<disj> I slept! Probably three times!
%%
The world is my playground, and I wanna win.
%%
Please wait while Setup detects and installs devices such as your keyboard and mouse. This will take several minutes. During this time, your computer may wig the fuck out.
%%
These aren't the services you're looking for.
%%
Liars, when they speak the truth, are not believed.
%%
Liars, when they speak the truth, are not believed in bed.
%%
"I'm gonna go call them at 8am."
"That means they should have it done by 8am four months from now."
%%
The Network is dead. Long live the Network.
%%
<whoops> ugh my tester annoys me
<whoops> it's just obvious he's green
<Ark> well, KC, its not easy being green
%%
No good deed goes unpunished.
%%
Interviews: Ask An Ordinary Teenage Slashdot User 
%%
<dburton> this build system stuff is so horribly put together.  it's really awful.
<dburton> and getting it to work with cv2 is like taking the engine out of a corvette that's not built to spec and trying to retrofit it into a Ford pinto (that's also not built to spec)
%%
<lemson> well value added is when you buy a giraffe and they pre-attach a bucket to its ass to catch the shit
%%
Eventually you discover the typical plot lines involved in Japanese RPGs, such as the main characters love interest starts off hating him, and by following her around everywhere she eventually comes to love him. [writers note: I tried this once, and it's total crap, not only does it not work, but it gets you a restraining order]
%%
How can we dance while the Earth is turning?
How can we sleep while our beds are burning?
%%
Anyway, have fun. And don't bother reporting any bugs for the next few days. I won't care anyway. [Linus Torvalds]
%%
"We were trying to help the human race evolve, and some other humans steal it," said member Caleb Williams.
%%
"I want to be the president of everybody, whether they supported me or not." [George W. Bush]
%%
"Both The Rock and Bill Gates are known worldwide for their vast array of catch phrases," the wrestler noted.
%%
<mrw> he has DSL.
<mrw> he has a leather couch.
<Laira> I'm in. Where does he live?
%%
I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors
 but I think that God's got a sick sense of humour
 and when I die, I expect to find him
 laughing.
%%
"Graham is always writing code when I see him. I don't know how he manages that."
%%
<mrw> I may have some sparc linux boxes soon.
<mrw> that's how I'm planning on drawing my paycheck at the end of the week.
<mrw> never give someone keys to the machine rooms and then cut their salaries.
%%
/* BUG: We're expecting a stream of rumors here, delimited
 * by %% marks. Unfortunately, the only way we know that
 * the stream is ended is by getting nothing out of the socket, 
 * since mrw's end-of-stream indicator is THE MOST COMMON
 * NUMBER IN THE RUMOR FILE.
 */
%%
<TanAdept> Serialize this.
%%
<mrw> *sigh*
<mrw> it IS easier to get a gun in this town than get married.
%%
And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... PEOPLE DIE.
%%
<Arun> women are boycotting me
%%
Nice hair. You get a gift certificate at Whores'R'Us?
%%
<Dygel> Whoa. Groogroo just exploded with weird.
%%
If you don't know how to do something, you can look it up in Help. Just click Start, and then click Help.
%%
(Important: Once installed, the Microsoft VM cannot be uninstalled.)
%%
<Scola> well it didn't seem stupid at the time--then I started writing code
%%
<Ch1XenZz> morning is a harsh mistress
<elsie> so is angela
%%
Boolean EXTERNAL_LINKAGE runningOnWeb()
{
    // return true for a server compile, false for a mobile compile
    #ifdef JAVA_ENV
    return true;
    #else
    return false;
    #endif
}
%%
Note: Use of the Microsoft language extensions for Java results in compiled
code that will run only on Windows systems with the Microsoft Virtual Machine
for Java installed and may not run on other virtual machines. The Microsoft
Virtual Machine for Java is installed with Windows 98 and a freely
redistributable version is included with this product. While future versions
of Microsoft Java's development tools may be prohibited by court order from
incorporating keyword extensions and compiler directives not contained in
Sun's Java language specification, any code written and compiled with this
version of the product will be unaffected by such a ruling.
%%
(Use /nomessage to disable this message.)
%%
<seano> it's pretty easy to think you're the shit when you're neck deep inside it, I'd imagine.
%%
Borg is beautiful. Just look at Seven of Nine.
%%
You have been killed by a newt while helpless.
%%
No amount of social engineering will save us from the fact that we need to find the problem and fix it.
%%
I think that was a bit less cordial than he was used to.
%%
<mrw> The old adage of "when you have a hammer, all problems are nails" applies here, except that Perl sometimes feels like a squeaky hammer, and sometimes feels like a sledgehammer.
%%
"Ours is not to question why; ours is but to do and die."
"At most companies, that's do OR die."
"Well, you know. Here we practice the Genius of the And."
%%
See, you just needed to not call sb.CrashServer().
%%
Welcome to the TRILOGY domain.
%%
Damn it feels good to be a haxx0r.
%%
I did it like this.
I did it like that.
I did it with a wiffle ball bat.
%%
<Adam> I have faith in getting laid.  Dubya should give me money.
%%
"Is this person a pedophile, or a parent?"
%%
"The number one issue at Trilogy is focus."
"Naw, man, it's these ten or eleven things."
%%
<mrw> One cousin knocked up a girlfriend and had a shotgun ceremony. 
<mrw> Another got knocked up AFTER the wedding was scheduled;  she stopped taking her BCPs so she could lose weight for her wedding dress.
<mrw> I'm sure that that side of the family is going to be incredibly disturbed by me getting married WITHOUT a pregnancy.
%%
"Does anyone really know how much JavaScript is on this site?"
"One metric shitload."
%%
"This fuckin' stock market is giving me heart attacks. I'm gonna fuckin' take my money out. Buy some crack, sell it to high school kids. I think that'll be a better investment."
%%
"We can change it really easily. I mean really really easily. It's a five letter change."
"Make sure you hit backspace first."
%%
"The War Room is definitely key."
"It's mainly a motivator for me. It's harder to surf Slashdot when there are other people around."
%%
Priority:
 5 Blocking a sale
 4 Blocking a deployment
 3 Hindering a project
 2 Customer dissatisfied
 1 Low immediate impact
%%
I can't get no sleep.
%%
<mrw> the clue phone just rang!  it's for me!
%%
"Have we ever seen this in production?" "Yup."
"Do we know what it is?" "Nope."
*long pause*
"Well, I guess that's good then."
%%
<SmooveB> our wireless link is flapping like a 10 foot penis in a hurricane.
%%
Thou art human, with soul and wit. I am but clockwork.
No wonder I was so easily defeated!
%%
as the stars appear i know i'll find you
staring at the sky
pointlessly reaching for some light you hope
to guide your sorry way
%%
Oh, you're just being picky.
%%
"This is causing a unique and intermittent problem in FPO, mostly due to FPO's unique and intermittent architecture."
%%
"We have no fuel on board, plus or minus 8 kilograms," said one NEAR scientist.
%%
/*
 * This software is not designed or intended for use in on-line control of 
 * aircraft, air traffic, aircraft navigation or aircraft communications; or in 
 * the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear 
 * facility. Licensee represents and warrants that it will not use or 
 * redistribute the Software for such purposes. 
 */ 
%%
Everything counts in large amounts.
%%