Ever used UNIX?
%%
This is a UNIX system! I know this!
%%
Alright! I bought his brain!
%%
A name is a rose, and it only smells as sweet as you are.
%%
Cut the chatter, blue 2.
%%
What you talkin' about, puttin' boogies in people's butts? You out yo' mind
or somethin'? You could go to jail for doin' somethin' like that! What's 
this? A hundred dolla bill? You mean to be tellin' me you be givin' me this 
hundred dolla bill if I be puttin' boogie's in peoples butts? Really? Really?
... Step aside.
%%
Caution, asteroid belt.
%%
The passcode is "ostrich".
%%
"That's fucked up." - Kevin Lilly
%%
"I'm not so sure a drug dealer wouldn't use
a trigger lock to protect his child."

- President Clinton on trigger locks
%%
"That depends on what your definition of 'is' is." - redefining the mother verb
%%
That's the first time I've eaten a pocket without tasting lint.
%%
Don't add rumors that are wider than 80 columns.
%%
Oh, cool! FTP segfaulted!
%%
What's the difference between an orange?
%%
Your entry has been candied.  You must be cool or something.
%%
Wouldn't it be cool if addrumor were changed to write to /etc/passwd?
%%
Able was I ere I saw Oprah.
%%
Cliff Stoll my k0d3z.
%%
<meekay> This channel is like talking to people who've been snow crashed.
%%
"I lie like a cheap whore." - Mahesh
%%
Hey, cool! They've got a blimp!
%%
School, that's where it starts, you know. They Baden Powell all
the boys and Betty Crocker all the girls, then they 
air-condition you - and they put you in the Easy Bake oven
until you can't breathe anymore.
%%
> "At any given moment, you may find the ticket to the circus that has
> always been in your possession."

What was in your possession?  The ticket or the circus?
%%
ActiveRene: built on rene technology
%%
point-to-focus-rene
%%
I learned a bit in robotics. I learned that gone are the days of 
do-it-yourself interfaces and machine language coding of embedded 
CPUs. For a hundred bucks, anyone can have a cushy serial port 
connection and a glitzy C compiler to write and download programs 
into their prefabricated and predesigned minicomputer. It was almost, 
but not quite, the loss of mistique felt when migrating from the old 
style BBS's with modem dial-ups to the omnipresent and omnipotent 
reach of the instantaneous Internet.

Sure, it's better. Sure, it's easier. Sure, I spent less time with 
the details and more time on robot logic. But I worry that one day, 
students in classes like these, or in grade school even, will be 
"designing" robots that run Windows CE, have a drag-and-drop OLE 
interface for creating "robot scripts"... They will never truly 
appreciate the roots of technology in this increasingly high level 
and object oriented world.

%%
Oh, the femininity!
%%
Fish, plankton, sea greens, protein from the sea.
%%
But, when you look at 250 million people and not just one, the link
becomes useful; the fact that a much greater proportion of Americans
are overweight than (say) British people does imply that Americans in
general eat a worse diet - whereas picking a particular American and a
particular British person and seeing that the American is fatter doesn't
tell you anything for sure about their diets.
%%
Do the duty.
%%
Stop with the pronouns, okay?
%%
Remember, kittens may seem like a cute idea for pets, but they grow up.
%%
Ferrets are just long hairy penises with legs.
%%
Psst! My condolences for the loss of your cat, pass it on!
%%
That was the sound of me beating my chest in a Socialist fashion.
%%
You didn't say uncle, you said duncle! Now you have to say uncle in my butt!
%%
Maximize your company's potential by maximizing your company's
communication potential! - actual PR hype
%%
That's it! Piss on him!
Yes! L. Ron Urinal Mints! 
I'll make a fortune! 
%%
Hey kids, this is Captain Planet! If your parents don't
recycle, report them to the government! Viva la Revolution!

The power is yours! - (A public service announcement from
Captain Planet and the People's Republic of Fox Kids)
%%
Hey Planeteers, when you grow up, have small families!
Large families are bad for the environment! Remember,
exalt the first, praise the second, admonish the
third, dispose of the fourth!

The power is yours! - (A public service announcement from
Captain Planet and the People's Republic of Fox Kids)
%%
"Voon," said the mattress.
%%
The first rule of Red Carpet Club is 'You do not talk about Red Carpet Club.'"
%%
I see your shwartz is as big as mine!
%%
Thank you Mario!  But our Princess is in another castle!
%%
"Wow!  These sizes are fun!"  --Geoff Raye
%%
Whoa... Hey! I just made a subfolder!
%%
It does not pay to anger the Gnomes of Zurich!
%%
Spheres!? Those aren't rumors!
%%
check signal cable
%%
Windmill is a windmill. That's why it says "I'm a windmill!"
%%
The picture of Elian Gonazales at gunpoint is a kick ass picture. 
It's almost as good as the one I took at the Colorado river last 
year.
%%
I slid the window down until it stopped moving. I was so happy... I
finally had closure.
%%
She pushed on the door until the other room could no longer be seen
and the bolt made a 'click' sound. She felt relieved. She finally
had some closure.
%%
Rumors have been restored.
%%
Oh, look.  There's someone urinating on the wall.
%%
M&Ms are flowing out of Red's gall bladder.
%%
A rumor about candy has been candied.
%%
Do all Jews get free passes?
%%
Alan Donaldson from Redmond, Washington uses in-home pregnancy tests, 
drinks domestic beer, and listens to progressive rock radio stations.
%%
Violence is always "thanks in advance".
%%
We're not going to watch that... Hey... remember that time
we watched that?
%%
Girls love having their backs rubbed with tennis balls.
%%
Can I have a dunkelweiss?
%%
Can I have a duncleweiss?
%%
The fun velcro pen means it's fun for all!
%%
This is a tuna tartar over a sweet pea emulsion.
%%
Is that a huckleberry-free form tart or a huckleberry free-form tart?
%%
I'll have all desserts for seven dollars, please.
%%
I fold like a cheap hooker who just punch in the stomach by fat guy
with sores on is face.

-- joey
%%
It's like the Nothing never was!
%%
I love my pot smoking friends, they give me pot.
%%
Give me a sandwich and a douche bag and I can do anything.
%%
How do you spell "Woo"?
%%
It's John Woo.  John Woo thinks that people have three cervical collars.
%%
I knew you needed flour to make pizza, but this is ridiculous!
%%
Bogus topping, dude!
%%
Can we sue?
%%
Hapsby is hardheaded.
%%
In honor of Britney's visit to Chicago, the Sears Tower is being renamed the Spears Tower.
%%
Give me a fish and I'll eat for a day,
but give me a fish everyday, and I'll
eat everyday. - American Proverb
%%
If a series of highly unlikely conditions apply, strangelets could in 
theory start consuming ordinary matter, turning the entire Earth into
a sphere of strangeness.
%%
    Arguments against it:
- it would be too stupid, even for Linux;
%%
Yeah, I heard Letterman do a whole top-ten list on RPM dependencies.
%%
You can't even make a rumor out of that one.  Nobody else can spell it.
%%
I got a date with the vi editor.
%%
We should be able to add physical objects to the rumor file...
%%
PLEASE forgive the recent slowness. We were "hacked."
The FBI caught the perp.
%%
I get much respect from top record execs.
%%
Don't even try to blame this one on the Jews.
%%
Cool, infertility!
%%
The company has vowed to appeal whatever decision the judge makes.
%%
Scientology, how about that? You hold on to
the tin cans and then this guy asks you a
bunch of questions, and if you pay enough
money you get to join the master race. How's
that for a religion? --Frank Zappa
%%
Hey Calligan Man!
%%
Life is complex:  part real, part imaginary
%%
Come on, Napster.  Stop being so nappy.
%%
No, Rick could never get a girl pregnant! Not after
I showed him all those CHARTS and DIAGRAMS...
%%
Hey Noxzema! You're overheating!
%%
Now Get This!  We feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats and get
the cat skins for nothing!
%%
Is that a fun game, slapping the table?
%%
Ooooh! Opera! A Lettuce Entertain You browser! Oh, please, please, can we
please browse with a chain?
%%
No Hidden Surcharges. *
%%
IT IS UNLAWFUL TO DISPENSE GASOLINE TO ANYONE IN A GLASS CONTAINER.
%%
I want to be a lion; everyone wants to pass as cats.
%%
Jake, you sound like a KVM switch!
%%
Your edibles have been canned. You must be shrill or joking.
%%
Hang on. I'm waiting for this to stop sucking.
%%
Silly ABBA! Marshall's for Mathers!
%%
Triple lumen catheter - Large IV with 3 ports instead of little
IV's than need changing every 3 days - this can be left in place
much longer.
%%
Get a sobakawa; they're full of buckwheat husks.
%%
It's my duty to please that booty.
%%
You're lucky that was a leibniz rumor.
%%
Sorry, Alex, we don't have any Jewish porn.
%%
I'm not leaving my Wingspan Bank!
%%
Your honor, my dog is an addict: He had the munchies.
%%
Your cable has seen candy. You must eat shuul or crimping.
%%
Turn it down, or else the non-hot one will lecture us.
%%
Wait a second, that's not right, that part is real!  My dream is real!
Wow, I am a teacher!
%%
I want to be a level 10 three-year-old.
%%
We're not going to ride a sandworm. Hey, remember the time we rode a sandworm?
%%
Geoff's most commonly used word is "sensible", and second is "reasonable".
%%
Screaming cat gags are always funny.
%%
There will be dungeons. There will also be dragons.
%%
Cool!  Hate speech.
%%
That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee.
%%
Real men don't need quickstarts. They need bitches.
%%
It sure seemed like a good idea: take a raw independent film and turn it into
a breezy cartoon for primetime television.
%%
I am going to write a musical called _Child Molester: the Musical_!
%%
If I was an angel, what would I save? I'd save my money.
%%
She gives really good sunflower.
%%
In the future, May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.
%%
In the future, fuck this cheese, man.
%%
If I was a preacher, what would I preach?
Why, I'd preach hypocrisy!
%%
That doesn't look like Iggy Pop! That looks like Ellen Degeneres!
%%
Grr... 100 channels, nothing but cats.
%%
I'm going to buy a factory and start manufacturing consent!
%%
C + ANDY = CANDY
%%
Did you hear the one about the bishop, the rabbi, and the extruded
3-dimensional surface?
%%
Cool! I want a Shaq on a stick!
%%
If a girl has a deep voice, it means she's not good looking.
%%
The JERKSTORE is not for Grandmas, Nancy Boys, or other Lillies.
%%
Boom!  Bye monkey.
%%
If I was a gambler, what would I bet?
Why, I'd bet your life!
%%
Is that real-time travel or real time-travel?
%%
Headphones may exhibit lameness
%%
ImaybetotallywrongbutI'ma!
%%
Can you make Milkshake n' Honey a windmill rumor?
%%
"I yield back a Supreme Court that is so politically correct
they are downright stupid, so stupid they could throw themselves 
at the ground and miss." 
-- Rep. James Traficant
%%
Sloppy fifteenths.
%%
I had such a depressing childhood, I like to watch other people die on film.
%%
Maybe the placenta gives us superpowers that we never knew we had.
%%
Three years?  God, I am fucked.
%%
The dead screen touches you. Try 'screen -wipe'.
%%
When it blue screens
When it scandisks
Then I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad
%%
I am the evil marshmallow queen.
%%
Silicon Valley is like Palatine on steroids.
%%
Silicon Valley is like Palatine on steroids.
%%
I am a Scientologist.  You are a fool.
I am your god.  I am your master.
Eat Scientology-Pops.
%%
Map full of squiggles!!!!
%%
You have reached www.24-7.com
Unfortunately, we are now closed.
%%
Goth fortune cookie.
%%
This is the last time we order Goth-Chinese take-out!
Who wants my "angst-fried rice"?
%%
"Pokemon Live! is coming to Chicago."
"I hope it's as good as Ninja Turtles In Concert."
%%
Will you quit punching me?  It's eXceed.
%%
I don't think "Jack Mehoff" was really in the class of '97.
%%
Your mother couldn't cook her way out of a pop bottle!
%%
These are the German exchange students.
%%
Watch out for the Mugwump jism.
%%
"The astrologer said the evil effect of Saturn can be countered by
marrying the child to a dog."
%%
Anyone wants water? Tea? No? Good.
%%
No, you're abusing Tinker.
%%
Do we have non-alcoholic monitor wipes?
%%
Logical Positivism without the Post Modern mess
%%
I'll trade you a throat cancer for a lung cancer.
%%
I'm from Michigan.  We hate you.  Let's go have a beer.
%%
Tickle him, Jimmy!  Tickle him good!
%%
It's sort of like the Shroud of Turin.  It's the Shroud of Kitten.
%%
Oh no!  It's a rumor!
%%
I'll have the chicken placenta.
%%
I'll have the placenta parmagian.
%%
I'll have a side of mashed placentas with gravy.
%%
I'll have a baked placenta with sour cream, no chives.
%%
I'll have the prime rib topped with caramelized placentas.
%%
If rumor was written in Java, everything would be an
Object.
%%
Am I reading a missing child report or an advertisement?
%%
I want to be a layer of abstraction when I grow up.
%%
Isn't the concept of reality-based television tainted?
We already have television-based reality.
%%
Don't make me pull out my anti-Semitic remarks.
%%
You know, she's not aggressively grotesque, but she's definitely skanky.
%%
It just struck me, Tiggers are totally into B&D.
%%
Practically everyone of the top 40 records being played on every radio station
in the United States is a communication to the children to take a trip, to
cop out, to groove.  The psychedelic jackets on the record albums have their
own hidden adgendas and hidden message.  So do all the lyrics and the top rock
songs.  And they all sing the same refrain.  Its fun to take a trip, to put
acid in your veins.
%%
I am international shipping guy!
%%
90% of all rumors are true
%%
Only one person is going to be
picked and the others are not 
going to be.

- Al Gore, asked about his running mate choice
%%
I'm a born-again lesbian.
%%
They have this steak that they make... Wow.
%%
The B-Spline must be drawn here!
%%
The NURBS must be drawn here!
%%
Should we go to Jewel or Dominatrix?
%%
Mars needs warez
%%
Zuh?
%%
FOO=`rumor -t -l 1`; echo There\'s no way we\'re going to $FOO. \ Hey, remember the time we $FOO\?|fmt   
%%
Maybe it's my imagination, but double anal penetration
is just not my cup of tea.
%%
Don't forget to bring your whips, we're goin'
to the freaker's ball!
%%
Well all the fags and the dykes,
they're boogy'n together.
The leather freaks are dressed
in all kinds of leather.
The greatest of the sadists
and the masochists too,
screamin' "PLEASE HIT ME!"
And I'll hit you!
%%
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
%%
Are you allowed to use your nerve cells?
%%
Do all Jews get free mousepads?
%%
I'm sure it would make sense if I understood it.
%%
It definately should not be liquidy, it should be slimy.
%%
It just struck me, gamers are totally into D&D.
%%
I keep getting richer but I still can't get my picture
on the cover of the Rolling Stone.
%%
I wish every day was Friday, because the next day would be Saturday!
%%
I have setup a Free Swan and having some difficulties.
%%
In the future all rumors will be metarumors
%%
Wish.  As limited wish, but with fewer limits.
%%
I'm not at all sure about the usage of the word 'biscuit' to refer to 
attractive women.  In the worst sense a biscuit brings to mind biscuits and
gravy, which quite frankly is slop; in the best sense maybe something like
tea and scones.  Neither of which seems very flattering to the female in
question.
%%
We're on a mission from Glod.
%%
Caution: Slow Kids at Play
%%
Signatures 
    In the future all binaries will be signed... 
%%
Look! Abuse is down 40%! Now is the time to buy!
%%
Gentalmans Sword Cane - This is the finest cane we sell.
Temporarily Unavailable - We have been having quality
problems with these canes for a few months. We will not
sell them again until the our quality standards have been
met.
%%
Spears?! Those aren't rumors!
%%
If I had to carry a cane, I'd use a sword cane. You might as well have one
that also has a refrigerator in it so you can carry beef jerky.
%%
Is that like grindmypoppyseeds.com?
%%
Scour is only for downloading communism, not drugs, Andy.
%%
When you start screen, it effectively does nothing.
%%
Are you allowed to use your nerve cells?
Not to think about DeCSS.
%%
This album is just full of goth goodness

%%
Rock, Roll, and Yaw - Taking music into the third dimension
%%
Yay! It's goth!
%%
He's recovering from all substances, liquid and solid.
%%
Your DSL installation has been candid.  You must be cool or something.
%%
SQUAWK!!
%%
Yeah!!
%%
Support me, bitch!
%%
"That's good stuff."  "What?"  "Her ass."
%%
Apple Macintosh G4 Cube - Trigger locks not required.
%%
The Old Testament is like UNIX - stable, reliable. The New Testament is
like Windows 95, release 1.
%%
TRY OUR NEW CHICKEN CLUB POKEMON
%%
Every time they play that song on the radio, I think of old people
wetting themselves.
%%
Just in case your new email didn't work, I am sending a mail to your 
hotmail stating that I got your email from your new email and I sent 
an email back to that email address. 
%%
I would hate to see someone using over-the-counter drugs just so
they can play Quake 3.
%%
Hey, why don't you get the one dollar bucket of rib tips?
%%
There are little tiny sandwiches appearing in random locations
throughout the building.
%%
Pretty soon you're going to make me, like, five, and then we can arrest Mahesh.
%%
As Ice Cube says, it lacks tensillary strength.
%%
You're no better than a common toilet
%%
Those who want information to the free as a matter of principle should create
some information and set it free.
%%
Ugh... that piece was full of connective tissue.
%%
It's "folder", not "fondler".
%%
So how old is she?
21
So she's pretty much done with her sex life.
%%
In order to manufacture the moustache, you must attach the masking tape to a
hole at the base of a toolshed and then case a cat through the hole.
%%
There are no winners. There are three DEAD BABIES.
%%
It wasn't a full capri implementation, they were more like floods.
%%
Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans...
now that is a name for a band             -jwh
%%
The greatest gift you can give a bedwetter is a dry bed!
%%
Look! It's Sting! There's rock music!
%%
This one time, a treadmill invited me to a wedding. I showed up, and the bride 
and groom never quite made it to the altar - because the aisle was - you guessed 
it - a treadmill.
%%
I'm Dali Lama lobbing the first grenade
%%
We have successfully reduced a world leader into an adverb.
%%
Sex and Violence: The Movie (tm)
%%
IT WOULDN'T FIT
IT WOULDN'T FIT
%%
This logo has a red hat, so
if your printer is configured for
color it should be red!
%%
All of this DVD is a rumor... is a rumor... is a rumor...
%%
White Aryan Resistance
What Is It?

White Aryan resistance is the amount of resistance that a white Aryan displays 
when a current is passed through his or her body. This is usually measured in 
Ohms, as it is with standard resistors. Since each white Aryan has a different 
resistance potential, it is advisable to start a program to identify white 
Aryans and test their resistance potential with high voltage low amp cables 
and an Ohmmeter. i

Each white Aryan will then be painted with a series of color bars, indicating 
their resistance capability, as with standard resistors. This color bar code 
should be displayed prominently on the forehead to avoid confusion. 

A detailed analysis of white Aryan resistance values will soon be released. 
The data gathered thus far will accompany a proposal for "White power plants" is
to be opened as soon as possible. 

%%
As I was saying, ass-faces are emotional expressions that you can make with
your ass.
%%
<Mozilla> netscape sux
%%
Warning: Cannot allocate colormap entry for "hot pink"
%%
To help you deal with your stressful day, let me make some peaceful ocean
sounds for you:

swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, KA!!! KA!!!, swooosh, DING! DING!,
swoosh, sooooosh, ARRRRR MAYT-EEE!!! ARRR!!!
%%
You know, she doesn't look that good, her legs are too skinny,
but those "fuck-me" pumps...
%%
And she has a bar code on the back of her neck, which is even hotter.
%%
What you need to do is not add any rumors about that concept.
%%
Jared is really worth his wad.
%%
AHH! I SERIOUSLY BENT BACK MY NAIL! - gtr 
%%
I wish I was a floating corpse so that I could chase people at 80 MPH.  Float,
float, float!
%%
Grr... 100 channels, nothing but angst.
%%
WARNING: Excessive consumption may cause laxative effect.
%%
"Are you feeling Olean?"
"Maybe."
%%
Heya, it's me, the PLO!
%%
Thank you for your order. We are proud to be your Internet superstore.
%%
Thank you for your order. We are proud to be the Pico of superstores.
%%
Montessori balls never bounce.
%%
Please note that the Open Source Radio show is an
adult show and not intended for children.
%%